Sick of
by SVUAddict
Summary: Elliot reflects on losing his wife.


Title: Sick of

Author: SVUAddict

Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own the characters of Law and Order: SVU. I only own the story line. I do not own the lyrics 'Sick of', but Ne-Yo does.

Summery: Elliot reflects on losing his wife.

A/N: Wow second SVU one-shot today, but I had inspiration when this song came on the radio. So hope ya like it and please remember to review.

Gotta change my answering machine

Now that I'm alone

Cuz right now it says that we

Can't come to the phone

And I know it makes no sense

Cuz you walked out the door

But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore

(It's ridiculous)

It's been months

And for some reason I just

(Can't get over us)

And I'm stronger then this

(Enough is enough)

No more walkin round

With my head down

I'm so over being blue

Cryin over you

Elliot sat on his couch with a beer in his hand. A day today Kathy had left him taking his kids with her. It had been the worst pain he ever felt and ever since she left he had been beating himself up thinking he should have done something different. He should have somehow prevented her from leaving. But he had just stood there as she walked out of the kitchen leaving him so dwell in sorrow.

And I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing you were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

The very next day he was back at work thinking if he jumped into the work that had torn his wife away than maybe he could believe for a little while that when he went home that night his wife and kids would be waiting for him. But as he drove with Olivia to their victim's house every song on the radio was just another song that reminded him of his wife and what he had lost when she left.

Gotta fix that calendar I have

That's marked July 15th

Because since there's no more you

There's no more anniversary

I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you

And your memory

And how every song reminds me

Of what used to be

A song came on the radio that explained everything he felt. It was 'so sick' by Ne-Yo and he had no idea why it would come on an oldie station since it was a song his daughters would listen too. It reminded him of the feelings that he desperately sought to forget but he just couldn't make himself reach over and turn that radio off. He couldn't make himself forget.

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing you were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

"El, are you okay?" Elliot heard his partner Olivia asked from beside him in the passenger seat of the SUV.

"I'm fine Liv."

But was he? He couldn't stand this song and how he was singing everything that was going through his head. But it did help him put things in perspective. It helped him put a name to all the feelings that washed over him like a tidal wave.

(Leave me alone)

Leave me alone

(Stupid love songs)

Don't make me think about her smile

Or having my first child

Let it go

Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing she was still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

Elliot glared at the radio out of the corner of his eye as he pulled on to the victim's street. He hated how that song was making him feel but at the same relishing in it. Olivia reached over to silence the radio but he reached out with his hand and stopped her.

"Just leave it," Elliot told her calmly.

Olivia looked at him curiously but left the radio on. Elliot saw in her eyes that she wasn't going to let him drop this subject, but he didn't' know when she would approach him about his mood. He hoped it wouldn't be any time soon. The pain was still fresh. He wasn't ready to admit to himself just yet that his wife was gone. Not yet anyway.

Said I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing she was still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishin you were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

Why can't I turn off the radio?

(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

Why can't I turn off the radio?

Just as the song ended Elliot pulled up in front of the small two-story house that currently housed their latest victims. He turned off the car and was about to get out of the car when Olivia stopped him with her hand. He turned back to Olivia to tell her they needed to get the interview over with but she stopped him from talking by talking first.

"Tell me what's wrong Elliot," Olivia urged.

"My wife left," Elliot replied simply.

Before Olivia could say anything Elliot got out of the car and strode up the walkway to the house. Olivia followed shortly. Elliot thanked God that she didn't approach the subject again as they waited for the door to be opened. He needed time to heal and talking wasn't how he was going to do it.

A/N: Hoped you enjoyed my story enough that you want to review and tell me what you think. Any form of criticism is welcome.

SVUAddict


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